What to Say to Your Girlfriend When Shes Sad

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When your girlfriend is upset, at that place are 2 parts to comforting her. She will need to experience emotional back up through the things you lot say. Also, she volition need to feel secured through the concrete support that you give her. If you combine these correctly, she'll feel better in no time.

1. i

   Ask her what's wrong. No matter what your stance is, keep information technology to yourself. Let her vent and get the story out, just nodding and adding a modest annotate when necessary. If she doesn't want to tell you, don't pressure level her. Some girls don't like to talk about why they're then upset. If this is the case, just tell her that you care and let her cry it out. ^[i]

   • "How're you lot feeling?"
   • "Hey, is something bothering y'all lately?"
   • "You seem upset. What's going on?"
   • "I'm here to listen if yous want someone to talk to."

2. two

   Be supportive, not dismissive. It doesn't matter if y'all don't agree with her issues. Reassure her that you're there for her. Have her to a private spot and tell her that it's alright to weep. Ensure her that y'all're on her side.

   • "I know that this must feel terrible correct now. I'm so sorry."
   • "I can't imagine how you feel. I know this tin't be easy."
   • "I'thousand deplorable that you're upset. Delight let me know if I can do annihilation to arrive better."

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3. three

   Acknowledge the outcome and briefly express your feelings. Just showing someone that you lot run into and understand their problem ways the world. Keep it short and unproblematic.

   • "I am and then lamentable to hear that your mom is ill."
   • "I know you really deserved that promotion. I'chiliad sorry information technology didn't work out."
   • "She was a bully friend, and I'thousand upset she'due south moving away too."^[2]

4. 4

   Stay abroad from giving communication. Virtually people are upset because there is no easy solution. So don't try to offer her ane. She's more than likely idea it all out before, and your advice will just keep her circumvoluted effectually how "hopeless" her bug are. Instead, say:

   • "This must exist actually hard for you."
   • "I wish I had an respond or solution. Merely know that I'm hither for you no affair what."
   • "What do you think comes adjacent?"
   • "How do you lot want to handle this?"^[iii]

5. v

   Empathize and validate her emotions. This one can exist difficult, merely as long as you let her accept the lead y'all can help her get a hold of her feelings. Get her to open up about how she feels instead of the situation or the upshot past cartoon on your personal experience. Labeling the feelings will help her command them:

   • "I know you really wanted that chore. I would be really let down in your shoes."
   • "You absolutely have a correct to be sorry; I would exist too."
   • "I know you're angry and upset right now. I empathize, and information technology sucks."^[4]

6. 6

   Stay positive. This is very important. While supporting her, constantly remind her that things volition get amend. She'due south going to be looking to yous for advice, so brand sure not to be negative. Bring your positive energy to the conversation and she will slowly, simply surely, start to pick upwardly on it.^[five]

   • "Allow information technology out. You know that, however terrible, these feelings will pass."
   • "Let's remember the expert moments together. Recollect when..."
   • "This sucks right now, I know. But I will exist here for y'all until things experience improve."

7. seven

   Avert minimizing her issues or talking down to her. At the terminate of the twenty-four hour period, retrieve that you aren't there to make things magically amend, you're there to support her. Telling her "information technology'southward no large deal" or that "you went through the aforementioned matter" will brand her feel like yous don't take her seriously. Things not to say include:

   • "You were too proficient for that job anyway. They're not even worth your fourth dimension." Clearly, since she'south upset, she thinks it was worth her time.
   • "I know exactly how you experience." Everyone's problems are unique -- y'all don't know exactly how she feels, and she'll sense it.
   • "You're so strong -- you'll be fine." Sometimes people demand some time not to be stiff. Don't make her experience similar she can't be vulnerable unless she looks "weak."
   • "I know this is terrible. Did I tell y'all near the fourth dimension I......" This isn't virtually your by problems, and so don't try and alter the subject.

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1. 1

   Be patient every bit she gets a concord of her feelings. This doesn't mean exist passive. Rather, you should spotter, wait, and know when to human action.^[six] Information technology may accept a while for your girlfriend to open depending on how upset she is. Knowing when to act will only exist possible through advice. Consistently inquire her if she's gear up to talk about it.

   • Only leave her alone if she tells y'all to. Even if she seems angry or upset, stay with her until she has calmed down.

2. 2

   Use physical contact to comfort her. Light touching works wonders. It releases the hormone oxytocin. This hormone elevates feelings of attachment, connection, trust, and intimacy.^[7] If you're holding hands, run your thumb over her knuckles or rub small circles on the back of her hand. You can also place one hand on her shoulder or the small of her back for the same effect.

   • Property easily is a neat stress reliever. This simple act increases a sense of trust and security and lowers cortisol ("stress hormone") levels.

3. 3

   Hug her. Be business firm but gentle-soft rocking or patting on the dorsum is fine if y'all need to calm her downwards a bit before you tin can talk. Remember, you're hugging her to help comfort her, then ensure that she feels safe and protected.

   • Hugs provide a sense of security. We are wired to find touch reassuring.^[8]

4. iv

   Don't button it. A gentle touch or hug is enough to comfort your girlfriend. If she wishes to buss you, she will.

5. five

   Move her. Physically take her somewhere different to surprise her with an act of kindness. At this signal, she might not want to be around other people. Suggest a small getaway to take her mind off of things.

   • Set up a private picnic for the two of you.
   • Treat her to an afternoon massage at the spa.
   • Go come across a new comedy movie.
   • Take her for a walk.

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• Question

  What do I do when my girlfriend is inconsolable, and won't believe or mind to me.

  

  Just be at that place for her, providing your comforting presence as she works through things. Notwithstanding, if she remains despondent for days or weeks, or shows troubling, subversive behavior, find a counselor or mental health professional for specific advice.

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• Do not storm out. If she doesn't want to talk, wait until she does.

• Once she has calmed downwardly, run the tub for her and run out to become some chocolates or something small. This volition show that you care about what she'southward been through.

• If y'all cannot help her, suggest she talk to a friend. Offering to take her there and choice her upwardly when she's feeling better.

• Requite skillful romantic pick upwards lines and buss her.

• Attempt holding her hand to condolement her.

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• Be conscientious about using humor to lighten the mood. She might appreciate your efforts, merely it's very possible that whatever jokes you crevice volition fall flat.

• Most girls volition appreciate your attempts to comfort them, only some prefer to be lone when they are upset. If they act similar or say they desire to exist alone, back off and requite her some space. Don't go too far, because she might change her heed afterward and want you around.

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Commodity Summary Ten

When your girlfriend is upset, comfort her past asking what's wrong and showing support as she explains the situation. For example, yous could say, "I know that this must experience terrible right now and I'm and then distressing. Please let me know if I can practice anything to make information technology meliorate." To testify her that her feelings thing to y'all, make sure to both acknowledge the issue and limited your feelings past saying something like, "She was a smashing friend and I'm upset she'due south moving abroad, too." However, stay away from giving advice, since near issues that upset people don't have an like shooting fish in a barrel solution and she's almost likely thought information technology all out before. If you desire to physically comfort her, give her a hug or hold her hands if she seems open to it. For more tips, like how to validate your girlfriend'southward emotions, keep reading.

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